Feeling Smarter with Emotional Intelligence

We each have an idea of what our I.Q. is. If you’re in Mensa, you know your IQ precisely, proving that you’re really smart. But being smart doesn’t equal being a good rainmaker. I just attended a fascinating program in New York by Nick Marson and Jack Downton of London, about getting new business by increasing your E.Q. – emotional intelligence.

The idea is to appeal to your client’s hearts, not their minds. Nick and Jack are directors of Parallel Mind, a specialized coaching consulting firm in the U.K. Their clients include law megafirms Baker & McKenzie, Cleary Gottlieb, Eversheds and Clifford Chance, as well as J.P. Morgan, Bank of America and Ruder Finn.

We can take advantage of the fact that people will make decisions based on emotion, and rationalize them later. Marson and Downton’s thesis is, “People will forget what you said; people will forget what you did; but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Research shows that it is five times more important for professionals to have good people skills than technical skills, in terms of getting new business. To build rapport with clients – and get them to hire you – it is important to be in touch with your own emotions, and then to understand other’s emotions so that you can build relationships. We must relate to clients as people first and clients second, according to Marson.

They showed film clips of three world leaders with high emotional intelligence:

• Bill Clinton listened intently when a person was asking him a question – you could see that he was paying attention – and then he would pause briefly before giving his response, showing he was thinking about his response. This visible response made people feel as if they were the only person in the room.
• Nelson Mandela was speaking to a mammoth crowd in Wembly Stadium, and was greeted with thundering applause. He burst into a brimming, heartfelt smile. He revealed emotion that he had connected with the crowd. “Smiling is the most important thing you can do in business,” Marson said. Smiling is disarming and engaging. It makes people feel good about you.
• Martin Luther King in his “I have a Dream” speech spoke in a voice that was throbbing with passion. You didn’t need to see him speak to be moved; hearing his voice was powerful enough. “People buy passion,” Marson said. “You should be enthusiastic in what you do. Believe in yourself and people will buy you.”

There will be an article by Nick on emotional intelligence in the Summer issue of Professional Marketing magazine. Join now at www.PMForumNA.org to join and get your copy.